Hi Xyliacs,
Sorry it’s been so long. As usual, lots of stuff going on- I’ll talk about some of this in my blog. For those of you new to Xyliatales, please keep in mind that my blog is a place were I talk about all told and untold jibberish, and much of it is personal. If that gets on your nerves, then puleeease navigate around the blog. ^_^ Thank you.
As I am writing today, there is a noisy weedwhip, my yapping dog, interruptions of teens every so often, and the neighbor kids screaming in their pool. Ah, summer. 0.o Concentration? What’s that? Anyway, if this post doesn’t make sense, you will know why…
———————-Xyliatales News——————–
First of all, a big congrats to Crisjin, who asked his lady friend to marry him, and shared the details of his elaborate and wonderfully romantic proposal in the Xyliacs blog: Crisjin’s proposal
FWIW, Claude- the eternal romantic- approves. And yes, she said YES. ^_^
“Good show, mate!”
Also, I wanted to tell everyone about the amazing gift I received from Matt Romoser, long time reader and the winner of the voice over contest last year. He did an delightful recording of Chapter 1 of Nigel’s Opus. I hope to share it with you all at some point. He just does a wonderful job reading and bringing the characters to life. It really was inspiring for me, and got me fired up about working again.
Ah yes, working on Xylia. I have made no secret of my creative block here. It’s actually almost like a phobia. Keeps me from even trying. There is always something around here to fill the time, to use as an excuse, but the bottom line is that I am afraid. Afraid to start writing. Afraid to draw. Afraid to mess up. It’s really disheartening. Today’s image is a concept drawing I created- reaching out of my comfort zone- I’m trying to make time to do some of these each week. I have a good idea where the story is heading, what to write- it’s just a matter of actually writing. And then drawing. I’m praying it will get easier.
Hopefully, I will be reviving the Xyliatales On Air Show very soon. I’m going to try to get a broadcast up in the next week or two. Not sure what I will do, but it will be fun to say hi to everyone…
Broadcasting Live with Ustream.TV
As always- thank you so much for all of your patience. And another big thanks to Kez for getting the site transferred and to all at Spiderforest!
——————–Barblog———————-
The biggest news is that I just made my way out of one of those nasty downward spirals. I spent a good five-six days really struggling with a dreadful depression and as such it was hard to accomplish anything. Thankfully, I got some help, and my boyfriend was wonderfully supportive, and I moved through it. But being that I was already behind on freelance because of my June travels, this week has been a slapdash hurry to complete a multitude of projects, in high quality and on time. New jobs are coming in requiring proposals. It’s wonderfully busy, but leaves me no time to work on Xylia, which as I mentioned before, is a bit of a comfort since I’m still in a fearful place with it. Guh. Hate being this way, but I am what I am.
My fitness goals continue. As of this writing I have lost a total of 56 pounds. I am planning on running in a 5K this fall, and I run three miles almost every day. It really helps with my mood a great deal – that’s really more important to me than that than just an appearance or general health thing. The best goal reached is that I have reached the point where I am in the medical normal weight range for my height, a place I haven’t been in over twenty years. Now it’s a matter of toning and losing about twenty more pounds- to be in the proper range for my small frame. (At 72″, I may be Amazon height, but I still have small bones.)
That’s about all for now…like I said, I hope to be able to start writing very soon, and posting after that. Wish me luck, Xyliacs.
——————————Response————————-
Shirash: Thank you for your follow up comments. I do try to keep everyone up to date as often as I can- I wish it was more consistant, and now that I’m starting to get into a regular work pattern, that will hopefully be easier.
Agreed that it’s best for writers to inform their fan base as often as they can. Ideally, it’s best to keep updating! But as we all know, the real world is a sucky place sometimes, and ideals can be kicked to the curb. I’m hoping my writers block gets busted away very soon here.
Bathbomber: That’s a great idea with the donation incentive! I will definitely give that a go. I had some ideas about that.
Gingerbread: Thank you for sticking around! Yes, going back is somethign I would prefer to not do, but this time it’s just a necessity. It shouldn’t have to happen again. I knew from the get-go that this characters didn’t fit, and I tried to stuff them in the story anyway. Won’t make that mistake again.
Ash: Thank you for the nice words about what type of fay I might be. That is so kind of you to say those nice things. Might have to draw that sometime… ^_^ Thank you for posting!
Skewered: You have been gliding out of your corner quite a bit! I like it! It’s funny what you say about me being like Katharos- I will try to post a photo of me surrounded by Lorikeets that my boyfriend took in Australia. ^_^ Definitely a Kath moment.
MuttLover: thank you SO much for your kind comments. I really appreciate all of you, and the worst part about this hiatus is that I feel guilty not sharing any story with you right now. I’m glad that you consider my journal more than just random drivel! I always worry that it’s too jabbery and whiny. Thank you for your post!
Gabi: Thank you very much for your support of both my time to regroup and to eliminate characters. I really am grateful I have such supportive readers. Thanks!
Ladyfox7oaks: Thank you very much for your kind words. I never think of myself as ‘strong’, I’m just trying to do the best I can. Sometimes that isn’t much, but I really appreciate the kindness you all show me. Thank you!
Aquila: Sorry! You know, there were so many people I would have loved to have seen when I was there. The thing is that it was really a time to see my sweetheart- we only get a handful of days together every four months or so, and it’s never enough time. I had dreadful jet lag on this trip too, so I was out for a good day when I got there. Sorry I didn’t get to see you! Loved it in Australia.
Meika: thank you for the kind words about my work, and for the interest in the return of Xylia. I wish I could give an exact date of a return- and I hope to get that figured out as soon as I can. Thank you!!! The weather was quite nice- we were there on the first day of winter and it was pleasant. A few rainy days, but then we headed north to Moreton Island, and it was lovely.
Octodude: yes, that girl and those crazy birds have a familiar look about them now…
Isn’t Kez the bomb?
Well, you know how I fret and stew. Fortunately, the characters weren’t that established. If they had been I woulda had to kill them. mwha ha ha…
Things are going better for Josh in some ways, I hope that he can post a blog at some point and share what’s going on. He is very busy preparing for the wedding, but I know he has appreciated everyone’s prayers and thoughts.
Thank you for your patience with Xylia…and everything else.
Thank you everyone, for reading, stopping by and for being so WONDERFULLY patient with me. I hope the story is worth the wait. You are the best!
Hugs,~B
July 15th, 2010 at 2:23 am
I am glad you are doing so well in your fitness goals! I miss reading Xylia Tales but the work that puts food on the table for you and your family must come first. I’ll be here when you are able to update again. Good luck and God bless!
July 15th, 2010 at 2:56 am
Wow, thanks for the congrats and the pic!
Glad you’re doing well overall, and good job with the fitness goals! I know how hard it is (once was 300lbs). Running (while not really good for your knees) is something that many of my friends do to help with stress. I tend to dance myself, lol
Keep going strong!
July 15th, 2010 at 3:34 am
Barb, it’s great to hear good things from you. I’ve been rooting for you as you worked so hard to get in shape. Been there, done that, there was a time when I was 252 lbs., a bit much for a 5’6″ frame. As you know, due to health issues, in the last year, I managed to lose 25 lbs. Keep a’pluggin’, Barb, I’m sure that you’ll get back on Xylia at some point, your talent is too strong to remain hidden. I’ve got nuthin’ but confidence in you, Lady.
July 15th, 2010 at 5:17 am
Quite interesting, the opening sketch. I love her outfit. Even if she is somewhat more squished than one would find entirely comforting. :-p
And I definitely relate to the creatophobia, as I’ve been stalled on several projects (of varying levels of creativity) of late. Sometimes I think there’s something in me that finds the prospect of actually accomplishing anything to be the most terrible and horrible of fates. Note: this is very different from the *idea* of accomplishing things, which that same something is quite in love with. It’s just when I’m actually sitting down to *do* whatever it is I’ve had the idea of doing, that suddenly the terror rises up and makes a general nuisance of itself.
So I do wish you all the best in finding some way of tying and gagging it, or sending it questing after a trail of lollipops, or of generally getting it to pipe down so you can think (okay, okay – and *do*
). My mom (also an artist, and also one who’s dealt with creatophobia) keeps trying to convince me that the way to deal with it is just to push through. It probably is. But it’s so dreadfully easy to just “slip” into wandering off after shinies (or dullsies… or really anything that’s far, far away from the phobia), instead.
July 15th, 2010 at 6:40 am
Good to hear from you! Remember a bad comic update from you is like a “ray of sunshine”. It is only apparent for a little time, then the sun comes out.
July 15th, 2010 at 9:18 am
Congratulations on achieving your weight goal. I wish I had the energy to RUN 3 miles a day!
Given the current climate, the fact that you have so much work as a freelancer shows that you have the skills that organisations need.
July 15th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Hi B!
Love the sketches, both of Xylia (disturbingly squooshed though she appears to be) and of Claude’s grinning approval… That made me smile. ^_^
And if I may say so, the pic of you – MROWR!! Great shot – very intense! :-}
I’m glad you are working to stretch out of your comfort zone with your art – that is a good thing. In my experience – and I’m not saying this is universally true – the times I’ve had the most success dealing with a fear is when I confront it, head-on. That is some times very, very difficult, and it has yet to be fun – but of all the things I’ve tried, that has been the most successful for me. I will continue to pray for your creativity to bloom again – and I have absolute faith that it *will*. Do what you need to; we will support you!
Regarding writing – again, just in my experience – If you are able to, simply go for it. For your first draft, you can write anything you want, skip sections, make little doodles to make yourself laugh – anything. I have found that the most important thing is to start getting words down; don’t second guess yourself on your first draft whether they are the right words or not. You can always re-write later, to your heart’s content. No pressure, just get your creative juices flowing, even if it is only a trickle at first.
And of course, find what methodology works best for you. And remember, unsolicited advice is often worth what you paid for it. ;-]
Congrats on breaking out of the depression spiral, and of continuing on your fitness goals! You ROCK!! ^_^
And
CrisjinDude – Congrats man, Good show! Way to raise the bar for the rest of us! *grumble* ;-]
July 15th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
I’ve been lurking for a while, but I just have to say something.
I know it is in your nature to worry about how us readers are handling this hiatus. You want to make us happy, which I think is a wonderful trait you have… one that I happen to share. So I know how difficult it can be to put other peoples wants aside and do what is best for yourself. I just wanted you to remember that this is not nearly as hard on us as it must be for you. Please take all the time you need to take care of yourself, and don’t feel like you have to rush back to us. Like you said, a break like this is more painful for the creator than for any of the readers. That’s really true, because most of us can’t even consider devoting ourselves or our time to complete strangers the way you do. And we all think you are really amazing for doing what you do, and totally understand if you need time to come back to it. To be honest I would understand if you never came back to Xylia. It wouldn’t be ideal, but the way I see it, this project is a fun thing you did and shared with us very selflessly. Neither of those things come tied with any obligation to those of us who have been taking advantage of your amazing offer. We would love for it to never end, but what should be most important to you is what you love. Please don’t neglect things that are truly precious to you so that you can make a bunch of strangers happy.
Thank you. I shall return to my lurking post now.
July 15th, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Though I don’t have much time for commenting, I’m rooting for you, Barb, as always.
Sometimes life just keeps on knocking us down. But as long as we keep on getting up and going again, THAT is what counts.
Your artwork and stories inspire many of us who aspire to draw/write even half as well as you do. Don’t let the b*st*rds grind you down, neither the inner nor the outer ones. Thanks, Barb.
July 15th, 2010 at 9:38 pm
Don’t be afraid to draw again. Don’t listen to the naysayers—they’re always spreading negativity but can’t produce a worthy work of their own. And just so you know, I’m voting for Xylia on topwebcomics every day. Just so you know.
July 15th, 2010 at 10:23 pm
You go Barb! I love hearing about your workout- I’m happy to hear that you are slimmer and feeling better. I too had a bad couple of days this month (had a some this week). I hate it. I’m always afraid I’ll get so bad I will need to go on lithium or something. I think it’s not just personal things. It’s always hard being a grown-up in the summer. Work just sucks more when tons of kids are having all the fun you don’t have because. well, you have job (or jobs…). For me it’s also the tension from trying to find a teaching position for next year. A job I’m still not sure I want. Maybe you should try and pin-point what’s stressing you (or at least, the most). knowing is half my battle…
I’m happy to hear your overloaded with work- that means your decision to be your own boss is paying off. You should give yourself a bonus and a gift basket!
I’m sure you’l workout the hiatus thing- you said it before- the story burn in your bones. I know I can always wait for a good thing. And your story was never less then great. And this is without talking about the art… Keep writing this blog! Maybe it can also help easing back into the world of Xylia!
Hugs and lots of love!
July 15th, 2010 at 10:44 pm
Hi, Barb! As someone who struggles with depression myself, I know how hard it is to break out of that downward spiral when it gets started. Congrats to you and your support people for stopping one cold. That is a major achievement all by itself. And yes, exercise is a great mood booster! I recently discovered this for myself. I’ve been doing various cardiovascular exercises for 30 minutes five times a week for over a month now and it’s amazing what it’s done for my mood. Like you, I’ve been majorly overweight nearly all of my adult life. It’s not easy to lose over 50 pounds. I’ve only done it twice and you’ve done that now. You rock, girl! You are an inspiration to me to keep up with my exercise and weight loss goals. As for the creativity, I’d like to be a writer myself. I’ve got tons of words floating around my head and just can’t seem to get them out into the word processor. I wish I had some advice to help you overcome your fear, but I’m in the same boat. I’ll be watching eagerly to see how you conquer your fear and I truly believe you will. And I’m glad you’re getting lots of work to support your family even if it takes away from the comic. I love Xyliatales and I’m willing to wait patiently for the story to eventually continue. I know you won’t let it die and the wait will be well worth it. I also salute you for being brave enough to blog. I don’t have the courage to share my personal log like that. So blessings upon you and yours.
July 16th, 2010 at 2:06 pm
Wow…I wish I could get motivated to exercise like you have. I need to lose about…oh…70-80 pounds to even approach ‘normal’ weight for my height. That said, even when I was in the best shape of my life and spent 2 hours a day four days a week outside busting my butt, I wasn’t inside that ‘normal’ range. Maybe I’ve got the big bones you lack?
I’m glad to hear you pulled out of a downward spiral. I just worked on doing that as well. Unfortunately, my spiral was attached to my relationship with my man. I’m a terrible communicator when it comes to my own emotional issues and the people associated with them. Thankfully, my boyfriend is aware of that personality ‘quirk’ and has been trying to work with me. I’ve had a lot of emotional meltdowns and over-reactions to situations lately, and he’s tried to work through them with me, but I’d avoided being totally open and honest with him. However, I forced myself to write out every last little thing that was causing me pain and then to schedule a time with him to read it so I wouldn’t be able to ignore issues or avoid communicating. Bless him, he was completely calm and open about the whole thing and didn’t take offense or get defensive.
I can’t begin to tell you how free I feel not to have all of those malicious little thoughts running in circles around my head and making baby malicious thoughts to grow up and continue the cycle of self-destruction. I’m not saying that I won’t do something like this again. I know myself too well to think I’ve ‘learned my lesson’ and won’t hold all of the negative stuff inside. I’m just hoping that this massively positive high will serve to help me take those steps towards asking him for help sooner next time, and maybe the time after that I’ll talk to him even sooner.
Anyhow…the whole reason why I posted that was to say that I understand. I mean, I understood before (while I had the negative spiral), but I didn’t see it as clearly in me, so I only understood in a detatched sense. It’s very difficult to enjoy something when so much negativity is tied to it…even if that something is precious to you. I looked forward to spending time with my sweetheart about as much as I dreaded seeing him for how it would hurt…because I love him and I want to continue what I have with him. The ugliness I’d locked inside my head and my heart just made it difficult. Maybe it’s not exactly what you’re feeling, but your reactions make total sense now.
Always know that you have the love and support of your fanbase, insofar as we can give it to you digitally. I wish I knew how to help you set yourself free the way I set myself free, but you can be certain I’ll share ideas if any come to mind.
July 16th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
I’m so glad to hear that everything is going better for you.
Depression sucks, I can tell you firsthand, but you’re tackling it wonderfully. I don’t want to ramble, but I’ve had problems of my own with severe stress and accompanying depression. Sometimes it would get bad enough I’d really start feeling sick, or more often, like I was going to faint. It didn’t help that I was denying it for what was probably a couple years. Admittedly, my main problem is the stress, which I’m genetically prone to, so I’m working on it with the help of anti-depressants, but I know you can’t get anywhere without really pushing yourself to get better, and I’m trying to motivate myself further. It really helps when you refuse to believe that you could fail.
Exercise is tough for a lot of people to start doing routinely, but it’s a great way to improve your mood and your health naturally.
Keep it up, and just remember that even if we can only type to communicate, you have a great fanbase out here rooting for you.
July 17th, 2010 at 10:04 am
She looks wonderfully frail and beautiful here, very… human, I think… I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: I love it when you do emotions!
Also, she has great taste in clothes! I love the jacket…
July 17th, 2010 at 10:27 pm
To be honest, I enjoy your blogpost updates. Maybe I’m just nosy, but I find it interesting to know what’s going on in your life. As for the lack of updates, eh, it happens. At least you post on why there aren’t updates. What I find frustrating is when I check back on a comic I love and NOTHING has changed. That isn’t the case with Xyliatales
You’re awesome, as always, and good luck with everything!
July 19th, 2010 at 2:16 pm
So yeah….been reading the blog more, and awesome congrats on the weight goal, and I have to agree with several others …. The CLaude Way To Go pic was hilarious ^_^ and Xylia albeit a little weighted down by some things of her own, still well drawn, In Other News, if you have an idea you could always Post a Stick Figure Drawing, I know that sometimes works for me when I cant get anything down, I create my Stick Figure Special, then get aggrevated and start actually drawing, so that I think it looks good, since my idea finally got put on paper, albeit poorly at first, the finished result ends up being a good outcome, merely a suggestion, but hey everyone has their own pace and their way of doing things. I hope you continue to update, its always amusing to read whats next….and concentration, I think its a mythical fabrication created by universities and colleges as a new form of mental torture. ^_^
July 26th, 2010 at 12:55 am
the necklace it seems very familiar, her dress is really beautiful almost as if it taken from a different time, like mid-Victorian Day dress. your art is amazing and I love it. the details in this alone are enough to give me vague detail of time frame. I’m glad you’re doing well.
Now this is just my own craziness, but if you were to be a teacher I’d have a very hard time placing you not because of anything bad but of all the neat things you know.
Best wishes, Ash
July 27th, 2010 at 6:34 am
Many hugs my dear, and I’m VERY glad to hear that you are getting paying gigs!
And in this crazy economic hurricane, those are more important than the freebie you do, so don’t worry about it. the story will wrote itself when the characters are ready to tell it. 
July 27th, 2010 at 6:37 am
WRITE itself.. the story will WRITE Itself… WOW- I need to get to bed, it’s apparently very late and I’m tired. O_O
August 2nd, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Thank you everyone for the comments! Please go to the next update to see my responses!
Hugs,
B