Hello everyone!
Again, it has been too long since my last reply. As always, I have my reasons, and I hope they don’t sound like excuses. Before I get into where I’ve been, and also my comments to those of you on my last blog, I want to share some important information about Xyliatales. News, as it were.
———————————Xylia News——————————————
Okay, annoucement number one.
Our time with our friends at Keenspot has drawn to a close. Chris and Teri have graciously shared their site with us for a very long time, and I hope Xylia was a helpful property to their endeavor. At the end of last year, Keenspot announced that they were changing their business plan, and that only a few properties would remain with the company. This was a business decision which I fully understood. They were kind enough to allow those of us that were hosted by Keenspot to take six-seven months to find a new host network.
The good news? Our friends at Spiderforest graciously offered us a spot in their group of comics! Thank you everyone at SF! And thank you Kez for getting the site up and running so quickly and smoothly! Barely a blip! That Kez is amazing!
For those of you inquiring about Nigel’s Opus, the archive is available once again. Thank you to those of you who brought it to our attention that it was shut down.
Okay here is weird announcement number two.
If you have been reading my blogs or my Facebook whinings, you know that I have been in a creative slump- a nosedive in fact. I have talked with friends, tried banging my head on the wall a bit, and after it all, regarding Xylia I realized that I had to do something rash. My pal Steve Jones and I were talking about the peculiarity of this ‘writing as I go’ technique, and how I wish I hadn’t done things that way because I have hit a place now where I have to do a rewrite. Deletion. Changing things up. And like Steve said- and I’m paraphrasing here- ‘it’s your story. You do what you need to. What you have to do. Only you can know what that is.”
0.o I fought it, but with his encouragement (reminding me that it’s MY story) I became more comfortable with the idea of what I knew in my heart needed to happen. Thing is, if I was drafting this, and no one had ever seen what was written or drawn, I would have no problem. But…. I’m doing this very publicly, and it’s going to be weird.
So here goes.
The current running chapter is going to be deleted.
I know what y’all are saying. I know. “APRIL AND DECEMBER? GONE? NO! Not them!” The thing is kids, I have struggled to get them in the story, and I realized that the reason I struggled so long is because – they don’t belong in the story. This story, anyway. I had done sketches way back, thought that they would work in, but they don’t. Once I accepted that – the thing was that I would have to remove them. There is no easy way. It just has to be done. This is the problem with writing as you go, you are making changes and edit cuts in front of your audience.
Hopefully with time, you all will understand my reasoning, and who knows, maybe they will have a place in the story down the road.
More importantly, I hope you like where the story goes.
Okay, that is the news and info.
Now the blog section…
————————————Barblog————————————-
June was a very busy month around here. I was out of my studio a total of 20 days! The kids and I took a wonderful trip to visit my best friend in Princeton New Jersey, then a day trip into Manhattan, then a few days in Chicago. Then a couple weeks later I met my sweetheart in Australia and had a wonderful time seeing the sights and spending time with him. I will post some photos in my next blog. My only regret was that I never had a chance to meet up with Sarah E. 
I sure hope I get back to Australia again someday. Beautiful country, wonderful people.
Anyway, it was a wonderful time, and I will say here that I am blessed to have such a wonderful guy in my life.
I won’t say too much, because I don’t want to embarrass him. ^_^
I will say that being in love makes me even more scatterbrained than I already was.
At least it’s for a good reason. ^_^
——————————Response——————————————–
I’ve decided to respond to the comments on the previous blogs in my messages. I hope that is okay with everyone. It’s just easier that way because when I respond in the comments, and there are more comments, it gets confusing for me. (I get confused easily) ^_^
Matt- Thank YOU for reading my story. I ‘ve always said that as a creative person, I have never felt that my work has purpose unless someone else is enjoying it. You make that possible. Thank you for your kind words.
PrairieGhost- <3!
Francisco- Thank you for your patience with me. And also for the book on anxiety. I’m always looking to learn more things and strategies. Thank you for the support for both Josh and Myself.
Octodude- Double ditto (I don’t know the Latin…hee) <3
JoJo- I try to respond to posts as often as I can. I’m just honored that people take the time to read my work, and then to comment – especially those of you who are so patient and encouraging of me. I am so grateful for that. Thanks for the nice comment!
Skewered- thank you for gliding out of your corner once again with a terrific quote.
Crisjin- thank you so much for your support and kind words. I am trying to learn from this (and all experiences) it’s never easy when you are a hypersensitive idealistic crazy person, but the journey is the point, not the destination. Thank you for your support!
Joanne- thank you for the nice comment on the sketch! I was worried it was too scratchy to make out! I drew that on the plane ride to New Jersey. And yes you are a very patient group and I am so grateful.
Jamming-Those are wonderful quotes. Really wonderful. Thank you for sharing them.
Caitydid- Thank you for the nice comments! You are certainly wise beyond your years: “Cause then you’ll be having no fun, and life is too short to not have fun doing what you love” (although I know a LOT of 22 year olds and younger who have pretty good outlooks on life) As I mentioned earlier, to me writing to the responses I get is something I feel is the very least I can do. I can’t express how fortunate I feel to have so many readers who are not only willing to be patient throughout this hiatus- where there are no story updates, but still checking back anyway. But also, who even take the time to write these kind words, share inspiring quotes, or personal stories with me. I just wish my response time was quicker! (this time it was a month, but I was gone for most of June.) Thank you again!
Ash- I loved your comment. That was truly delightful, particularly what you had written. Thank you so much for sharing that. <3
Marie- I try to write in response – this time it took me quite a bit of time, and I apologize. Now that my travels are over, and I will be in my studio seven days a week once again, my responses will hopefully get more prompt. FWIW, I am getting that Xylia feeling back…
Graywhisper- Yes the review of TPR was brought up before. What a load of horsehooey. I’ve pretty much put the Mexican Mask Wearing Dork and his Review of Misunderstanding and Dislike in my past incidents circular file, and would ask that y’all do the same. 
Henrike- I was really humbled by the number of responses then, and on this post. I am always stunned at the outpouring of support that I continue to get from you all. I feel blessed to have such loyal, bright, and giving readers. It keeps me striving to continue. ‘Sycophant’ is insulting to you all to be most sure. At no point does the support here ever seem to be in hopes of gain, but more the type of caring that one would hope to see in the world.
Jane- Thank YOU for your support and taking the time to comment! I apologize for the delay in posting.
Chris AKA Dragonscales- thank you so much for reading Xylia, and for the prayers for Josh and his family. I’m hoping that Josh may be able to post a blog to share how things are going. Thank you so much for your patience.
Hannelore- Thank you for the very nice comment, and welcome to the Xyliacs! I’m glad that you enjoyed the story. (Nice understanding of Katharos’ and Tychia’s characters! LOL! Loved that) Xylia is always on my mind, and I’ve been spitballing and figuring things out for weeks. I’m hoping to get concrete things together in the next few days.
TNS – thank you for the comment, and I hope to add more to your coffee entertainment very soon!!
Strange Ian- I LOVED your lawnmower story. That really meant a lot to me. Thank you for sharing it. I’m working on some new plants right now. <3
Carina- thank you so much for your patience and support. The evil lawnmower is ancient history, and new sprouts are popping up all over. ^_^ Thank you for your comment!
Sparks- DAWWW! Yes, Corgis DO make everything better. She is such a beauty.
Master of Stories- well, with a name like that, you have my attention! Thank you for the kind comment about Xylia. It will return. I promise!
Shirash- My intention was never to put Xylia on an indefinite hiatus. Again, I offer my sincere apologies that I have been gone throughout the month of June. I wanted to respond earlier, but there just wasn’t time.
As far as feeling a sense of ‘intrusiveness’ of my blog entries, it is a blog- essentially a personal journal. As with any blog, it’s up to the reader what they CHOOSE to read. Since my divorce, I have maintained an open door policy on much of my world. Not everything, but the general ups and downs. Yes, it makes some people uncomfortable but those folks who are really annoyed by it don’t stick around, and that’s the way it goes. What I have found is that far more people are encouraged by my personal stuff; kindred folks experiencing similar challenges and feeling safe to share their own stories- no longer feeling like they are alone sometimes. And that means the world to me. Depression in a dark cave is a dangerous thing.
I would rather that people see the real me and my real world than to pussy foot around in denial, trying to make nice with the bunch of stinky crap that’s been dumped on my head or ignoring elephants in a corner. I lived the first many years of my life like that, and it was a lethal perspective for me and therefore, it’s not what I choose to do any longer. So that said, if you don’t want to hear about the ins and outs of my crazy world because it makes you uncomfortable, I would recommend you avoid my blogs because I’m not going to change them.
As far as Fantasy Realms, Niko is a good friend, and suffice say he went through some terrible times which led to him having to stop work on Fantasy Realms. He chose not to share the details of this with his readers – as is his right. Several people came into the forums and ranted and stomped their feet like children about it- “Where is our free story!!” Like little princes and princesses demanding the minstrel sing for them… (That crappy sense of entitlement that enrages me… )just the thing he DIDN’T need at that time, but he never complained. Niko never does. He is a wonderful person and a kind heart.
The fact remains that we webcomic creators share our stories free of charge with the internet audience. The projects are labors of love, and if we have to put them on hold, I can assure you it’s FAR more painful for us than any disappointed reader can possibly imagine.
All that said, thank you for the support of Josh and me as we get through the “trials, tribulations and whatnot”.
SilentMech- D’oh! That’s just silly. ^_^ thank you for the squee but it’s absolutely silly for me. ^_^
Amber- Thank you so much for the kind words about my work. I try to put my absolute best into each page, and when I feel that I don’t have the Right Stuff, as I haven’t for a few months, I have to pull back until I do. As far as critics, I’m moving on from that lambasting, but thank you for your insight!
Kyastar- Thank you again for the video and the GORGEOUS Xylia batik project. I’m sorry I have been gone so much and haven’t had time to post this sooner. To seeKyastar’s YouTube videoclick the link. It made me SMILE big time. Thank you so much!
Amy- and yes, I’m sorry I haven’t replied sooner here. I hope to not have so much lag time in the future. Thank you for the kind words for Josh, I know he appreciates it a great deal! Hope that my updates will be less sporadic in the coming weeks.
Shades of Twilight- Thank you so much for the kind words and welcome to Xyliatales and the Xyliacs! Thank you for subscribing, and as I’ve told all the other readers, THANK YOU for your wiliness to be patient with me. Thank you very much!
Sir Godspeed- Indeed, and I am grateful for all the readers and comments I have. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers!
Avidreadercina- I have to apologize for that. I was unaware that the link to Nigel was broken! We are in the process of an overhaul (and a host switch) so I will make sure to inform Almighty Kez that Nigel is missing from the menu. Thank you for bringing that to my attention.
Abre- thank you so much for sharing your story with me. And yes, I do completely understand all that you are saying, and I’m sorry for what you have been through. I like your philosophy on criticism, and I try to do the same- sometimes harder than other times, but the Negavox is sometimes louder than any logic.
I have gotten ‘help’, I assure you. Lots and lots and lots. But that’s another story for another day. Right now I find that regular exercise seems to be the best medicine for me- not always working, but definitely the endorphins help clear my mind a great deal. Having a wonderful supportive man doesn’t hurt at all either…. Thank you so much for sharing Abre, and welcome to the Xyliacs!
—————————————————————————————
All right Xyliacs, hold tight, I’m hoping to be back very soon with another blog and then some more story for you. Thank you SO MUCH for all of your support and patience. You are all amazing.
Hugs,
~B
July 8th, 2010 at 8:31 am
Ah, I never meant what I said as a dig at you or anything, I just find reading someone else’s journal a little…well, nosey. Not my business, if you take my meaning (and hence, intrusive). I’m not trying to ask you to stop it, because as you say I am not forced to read it and so normally I don’t. I was simply giving my reasons as to why I had waited so long to actually type anything out as a reply. And as I said, I’m grateful that you choose to keep your readers up-to-date on the goings in Barbland, even if not all of us are comfortable at reading such things often.
I do understand that Niko had problems (as I eventually found out after glancing at the site 6 months later), but it would have been nice to at least have been told that the comic was going on hiatus, even if the reasons were private. While I essentially shrugged and removed the site from my favorites list, while I was doing that I thought to myself ‘I guess the authors don’t care much about their readers if they don’t feel it worth posting even a brief goodbye’.
Obviously things can’t always go how we want them to go, and no web author is *required* to inform their audience of what’s going on. But I prefer the ones that do, because I feel it shows they care about their work and their reader base. And that means that us slavish devotees will sit around happily and wait for you to get back on your feet so to speak.
Anyway, enough of my scattered rambling, do what you have to do with the comic. Take some time, take a holiday, relax and get the creativity back. As a forum-going roleplayer, I know well the feeling of writer’s block. But you’ll get around it eventually, and when that happens all shall be well in the world again.
July 8th, 2010 at 9:35 am
Glad to hear you’re getting better and will be able to keep sharing your amazing art and story with the internet. Pity about April and December, But you gotta do what you gotta do.
Please let them continue their lives as donation incentives or something. That would be Awesome!
July 8th, 2010 at 11:24 am
Well I’m still reading! I’ve heard other comic creators mention this problem too, that putting up a webcomic is essentially putting up your rough draft. It’s very hard to go back and change. That said, if you ever want a beta reader for an outline or notes, I’m *fantastic* at finding compromises in plots! (Hey, it was worth a shot. LOL)
July 8th, 2010 at 11:54 pm
I’m glad to here you’re coming back. If you were a faerie you would have the most beautiful wing, bright and strong. Reasons why you are kind, smart, and an artist, there are many things I would like to know about you, but I’ll stick with what you post. I think they would gold with a pale pink both of which stand for kindness I’m not sure of their pattern but I know they would be something like the Monarchs’ wings. thank you for replying again.
July 9th, 2010 at 10:07 am
(Glides out of the shadowed corner)
If I were to visualize Barb as a drawn character, somehow the illustration today is how I would picture her.
(Glides back into the shadowed corner)
July 9th, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Barb. You are an amazing person who stands strong and resilient in the face of many perils (be they personal or not). This too you can do, and don’t worry about the readers. Like Shirash said, you give us little notes to let us know when there’s something going on, and that we should cool our jets, sit back and wait. You appreciate us, just as much (if not more) than we appreciate, love, adore, cherish you, your comic and any endeavor you take on.
While writing as you go has fundamentally messed a few artists up, it is a little more fun than writing the ENTIRE story line out. When I started my Blue Lotus series (which has since been disbanned so I could pursue a career with dogs), I had a rough (literally, rough. Three lines of plot for each chapter) idea of where I wanted to be, but I could fill in the blanks and side stories as I went. What helped ALOT was being about two weeks ahead with my art, vs what was on the website. That way, if I didn’t LOVE the way a story line was going, I could quickly change it, without feeling like my viewers were going to judge me for it.
Barb, you will always be one of my favourite artists, one of my funniest and smartest journals to read, and a lovely addiction/addition to my webcomic world.
Love always. Learn always. Grow. All ways. (yes, it’s from a milk commercial, BUT I LOVE IT!)
July 11th, 2010 at 9:59 pm
I just want to tell you that I’ve enjoyed reading the comic so far and will continue enjoying it when you resume it. I’m OK with your decision (not that what I think means a lot, since you don’t even know me). April and December seemed like interesting characters, but I had no idea how they would fit into the story… turns out they wouldn’t. That’s fine. Maybe they can have their own story someday. Or maybe not. That’s your choice to make.
July 11th, 2010 at 11:03 pm
Hon, I applaud your decision and your strength. And I’m glad someone reminded you that this tale is YOURS to tell. I (And the rest of your readers) are just tagging along for the ride… I suspect that April and December will have their own tale to tell you, at some other time. and maybe it will tie into Xylia’s tale, maybe it won’t. Either way, I will be glad to see you posting again!
July 12th, 2010 at 6:34 am
You should have popped in for a cuppa while you were in Australia!
Anyway, hope all is going well, thanks for sharing with us all!
July 12th, 2010 at 9:28 pm
Oo! You came to Australia! Which area?
I hope the weather was nice to you!
I am very much looking forward to Xylia coming back again. Thank you for sharing with us (your loyal readers) what is going on. You have such glorious art work, any delay is worth it when the new page comes up.
July 14th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Hi B! Love the drawing of Katharos and her flock ‘o fine feathered friends – so joyful! I wonder if she would like an emu or a cassowary – but that might be too disruptive… ;-] Thank you for keeping up posted on Xylia, progress, and your life!
Hurrah for Kez, and the Blipless Transition!
Regarding December and April – it IS your story, and I second Steve – do what needs doing. Yes, we like December and April, and they look like they could be compelling characters – but we will support you if this isn’t their time. If they don’t belong in this story, who knows? They may belong in another… Maybe a “Nigel’s Opus”- like side story, or like Bathbomber suggested, as vote or donation incentives (either illustrations, or a short story), or as you suggested, perhaps just later in Xylia and Claude’s story. It’s your Story, Barb – tell it as you see fit, and as it works best for you and for it’s own flow and integrity in the telling.
I hope things with Josh’s family have gotten better – for their sakes, and for his.
B – We will continue to wait patiently for your muse to return. I have faith that your creative tree will continue to sprout, and I and many others will wait for it to bear its fruit again – it is *well* worth the wait.
Fidelis!
And I see your double ditto, and I raise you a “right back atcha!” ^_^