To everyone for writing kind responses to my post on Thursday, let me say: “Thank you. Thank you, so much.” Before I go into this any further and respond to each comment, I need to share some news and ask for support for someone else.

I just found out that my dear friend and marketing director on Team Xylia, Josh, is going through a very challenging time – his father is gravely ill. If Josh wishes to, or has time to say more, he may add a blog to the site with more details. For now, I just ask that you wonderful Xyliacs turn your amazing love, prayers, good thoughts, support, and kindness in his direction. Thank you so much.

Now on to all of the comments from Thursday’s post. First, let me say again- you are all the most amazing people. I think we have formed a community of kindred spirits here- folks who ‘get’ things that the ‘big trees’ out there don’t get- or feel things more profoundly than the ‘big trees’ do. As most of you know, I love allegories- and several of you offered alternatives to the sapling/big tree analogy of self esteem that were very good.

But now to my responses and wow… this is going to be a long post!!! So get a cup of coffee, soda, water…whatever you prefer- and have a seat…

Brock: thank you SO MUCH for your support. It does mean a great deal to me coming from someone of your amazing talent and success. And yes, it does need to be fun. There are too many other things demanding my time that aren’t. Thank you, Brock!

Christine: I know that you understand a lot of these things, as we have shared in the past. You are absolutely right that hearing or reading nice things and actually absorbing them and applying them to one’s self talk or image are two vastly different things. The negativity is all from within, and therefore, the work all comes from within as well. But it still makes the work much easier to have so many people cheering for you on the outside! Thank you!

Sparks: And I’m with you there on stories that are stuck in limbo. I’m especially angry with myself because of the Talismen thing – but that was a different situation.
Thank you for your great points about obstacles that were in the path of even great writers. Sometimes in the mire of self-doubt it’s easy to forget that anyone else (particularly anyone really brilliant) would ever feel this way. Thank you for your insight.
Also, thank you for your understanding of the break, despite your frustration. I do understand, and I’m equally unhappy to have you all waiting. I take comfort in knowing that there are a LOT of other great webcomics out there to keep you entertained in my hiatus! And yes, the Xylia community (Xyliacs) are absolutely a creative empathic bunch. Most beautiful group of souls on the internet all collected in one place.

Justin: Yes you were one who supported the hiatus, and thank you for that encouragement. I don’t want to see Xylia go either, which is really WHY I stepped away- I wanted to take time off before I hated it. It was becoming a source of stress, yes – and I was growing to resent it- but I hadn’t reached the point of complete loathing. I am really hoping that I can move through this time and have something even better on the other side. Lawnmowers be damned! ^_^

Fransisco: Thank YOU so much for your long time support and kindness, and for your very kind words here. Congratulations on the status as a reviewer, I had no idea that you were that prestigious! I hope that times are turning around for you and your career, and I want to take the time to apologize to you and everyone for not being very active on the forums as I used to. Thank you for your support as always!

Matt: Hi Matt! First off, a huge congratulations on your career successes, and let ME apologize for my silence in the forum yet again. But that is great news, and definitely a reason why it would be hard to comment a lot here in Xylialand, but here you are! Thank you for all of your support over the years as well, and as the voice of Claudius, I hope you stay with us! Thank you, Matt!

Dave: LOL! Direct, to the point, and spot on. Indeed. I think a good dose of Beatles, a smattering of The Who, and some hi watt Zeppelin should just do the trick to tear down them walls, how about you? ^_^ Thank you Dave for all of your support here, and on Twitter (from where I have also been absent…)

Richard: You know firsthand as a support person of someone who struggles a lot about the challenges I face that many folks don’t, and again, I want to thank you so much for all of your support both as a pal and as the Apple guru/wizard/jedi that you are. You saved my computer’s butt more times than I can count!! ^_^ Thank you for the positive comments. I need to hear that my muse will return- and eventually I will believe it, and it will. It’s a very scary place for an artist/creative person to be devoid of truly creative thought. To you and all the others, thank you so much for your patience. And thank you for your friendship, Richard!

Gingerbread: Aw! Don’t cry! But seriously, I want to know what happens next too! One of the most foolish things I have done (not the MOST foolish- but the most foolish ones involve alcohol and are completely off topic…and KIDS, ALCOHOL IS BAD!!!) Anyhoo…one of the most sober and CREATIVELY foolish things I did was in my work approach to Xylia. I designed a VERY loose outline, characters, a tentative beginning, middle, and end to the entire epic, and then just took off running. Let me say now to ANYONE considering doing a long form story: DO NOT DO THIS. Planning is crucial. MY reasons for doing it, I explain in my blog from last week, but ultimately it really makes for a stressful and difficult work process- and when you get stuck- everyone has to wait until you get unstuck. Not good. Sorry Ginger, for the wait. I’m working on getting through this!!

NConant: Corgis are wonderful, and I HAD to have one in this story. Thank you for the comment “wanting to know what’s next”. That’s always music to my ears. I tried to create a story that was worth it to the readers- that they didn’t feel that they were wasting their time, and that they would want to keep following. Thank you for your comment.

Jamming: LOL! And I hate your comment…I MEAN… I hate taking so long to get around to answering your comment. Thank you for the much needed kick in the root ball, and the offer to bury bodies… I mean… for your support of the series. Let me say this again- my creative block does NOT stem from the review- there are many, many factors involved here (some of them from very long ago) that formed a powder keg to which the review may have been a match. But a match alone will not do any damage, it has to light something, and I provided all the fuel for that explosion of self doubt myself. Like I said in my blog- I’m working on this. This issue is way bigger than just Xylia or working on webcomics- it’s my life.

Joseph: sometimes I don’t know what’s best for Barb, but I try to figure it out. Thank you for your kind words and support as always, Joseph. You also, are a great friend. God bless you!

Dutchie: Thank you very much, for both your support and patience.

Robert: The thing about my readers is that you are all thoughtful and articulate. I am so proud of the people that read my story -please know that I am grateful to each and every one of you for your time. I wouldn’t care about taking time off if it weren’t for not disappointing you all, but I will never produce work that isn’t the best I can do- even to rush something out there. You all DESERVE the best I can do.

Silvara: I am fighting this fight that Xylia will not go to ‘great story heaven’. That is not the outcome I am hoping for, and in fact the opposite. I can say that in the last few days, just having been up front with some of my fears about this creative block has pushed things forward a bit. And as it always seems to be, people are popping up in my life that are giving me words of advice that are resonating and helping. I’m moving forward, and my sincerest hope is that Xylia will too! Thank you so much for all of your support with this project Silvara, and I hope to not keep you waiting too long.

Jenaya: Thank you very much for the kind words about Xylia. Again, the review was merely a catalyst to accessing my own insecurity, but not the cause of it, or my decision to take time away. Please know that I’m looking forward to the rest of the story too! Thank you for commenting.

Jennyusagi: this is a great idea, and one that I have implemented in the past. Unfortunately, life not only gets busy for me, but for those people kind enough to help me with things like that. I do like the ‘gardner’ analogy. Sad that I can’t be my own gardener, but it is what it is! Thank you for the ideas and kind support!

Skewered Viewpoint: thank you for your wonderful insight- as someone who is an unsung hero (a loved one helping someone with depression) you know all too well the irrationality that can come from the mind. Shocking at times how anxiety or depression can happen- almost like an attack, it’s something I have lived with for as long as I can remember- not knowing what it was the first thirty years of my life, but just trying to ‘deal’. It’s devastating- disruptive, and has often kept me from succeeding in many ways. I’m doing better than many people though, so for that I am grateful, but being honest has seemed to be the best way for me to help myself, and I have found that others are comforted by my honesty as well. Sometimes when you realize you aren’t the only one that feels like that- it’s suddenly not so scary. Thank you very much for your insight and kind words!

Harena: Love that name: Negvox. I think we all have names for those dark voices: crazy monkeys, black dog, negvox. And in giving them a name, we can hopefully put them in their place and not see them as US, but as something that we deal with that hopefully can be set aside, if not eventually purged altogether. I’m not holding out for that one, but at best, I would like to be able to control them and send them on their way most of the time. Thank you for your support (and all Xyliacs) and know that I support you too in your battles against Negvox. May they all surrender to the brilliant people we really are.

Tiff: Thank you so much for your kind words, as always they mean a great deal in a special way from a fellow creator. I’m sorry if my post put so much emphasis on this particular ‘lawnmower’ of the review- it’s putting too much blame on him (when he does have a right to say and think what he wishes) but also gives him too much credit, and even power over what I think, and really he has none. The reality is that life is full of lawnmowers, but it’s MY responsibility to outgrow them and weather their blades. To be stronger than that. I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it. I will say this, so many of you are here to be supportive, and it gives me hope not just for me, but just in general. If there are THIS many people who are this kind- just on this site, and with the time and generosity to write these things, then the world really isn’t as scary as I thought it was. Thank you for writing, Tiffany!

Crisjin: “A lot of people out there will cut others down just so they can feel better, and it sucks. “Absolutely true. You have said how much you appreciate Xylia, many times- but just as one’s opinion of oneself should not be built on the criticism of others, nor should it be built on the kindness of others – confidence must come from within. Just the same, the kindness shared here sure is wonderful, just to show that there is so much goodness in the world. Thank you!

Tinkerwrks: I do feel that I owe you all an apology for keeping you waiting so long, and yes, to continue the story that you have followed. I do feel responsibility for that. I don’t take your readership lightly, it’s something that I really appreciate. Thank you!

SilentMech: Thank you very much for your comments. DLC is an outstanding example of how to create a very successful webcomic. Scott is an outstanding writer and creator, and he has organized a business that runs brilliantly. Just so you know- I am over my respiratory gunk now, and doing well, thank you for your well wishes!

Eric: “if a person has 9 good qualities and one bad then concentrate on the good ones, and if a person has 9 bad qualities and one good, then again, concentrate on the good one.” Excellent words of wisdom, and one I’m pasting into my awesome quotes page. There are times when this is much easier than other times for me. At my worst, there is no ‘one quality’ that I can see to focus on. I can even write it down so that I have it to read when I need to, and I might as well have written something in a language I can’t read. At those times, when (as Herena calls it the NEgvox are in charge) it just doesn’t compute in my mind. It does now though! Thank you very much!

Julie: Love your analogies here. I laughed out loud with the s**t comment! thank you for that! As I have mentioned earlier, the goal is to get Xyliatales back up and running, not to leave forever. That is definitely my goal. Thank you so much for the kind words.

Tiana: Thank you so much for your kind words, again coming from a comics creator like yourself, there’s a level of understanding that I really appreciate. I do appreciate the support from all of you more than you can possibly know. I do plan on returning. I’m approaching this creative block not as something permanent, but something temporary and hoping that once through it, things will be not just back, but better than before. Thank you, Tiana!

Ash: Thank you for your perspective and kind words. Again, so many of the Xyliacs are fellow creators; writers and artists, actors and musicians, so your comments come from a place of real understanding. Thank YOU for taking time to share your thoughts.

Peg: Yes, and you have been such a great friend and support, I truly thank you. You and I both (as many Xyliacs do) feel things with a heightened sense. Whether from our pasts, or how we are just wired, I’m tired of this world that tells us that we are wrong or wimpy for being who we are. In a way, without knowing it, I was creating this story that seemed to draw people like us who are sensitive and empathic. I have said before and I will say again and again, my readers are THE most brilliant, kind, creative, and thoughtful group of people gathered on the web. I have no concrete numbers to support this scientifically, but I just know it’s true. And of course, you are right there, Peg. Thank you for all that you have done to support me and the project. It will keep on keeping on. ^_^ Hugs to you, my dear friend.

Chaldy: Thank you for the kind words- just so you know, the sinus/bronchitus thing is all gone now, but yeah it was annoying. Mostly that it lasted so long. Don’t really have time for that around here! Thank you for appreciating my wanting to be honest with you all. I find it’s the best way to be, at least for me. I will be back!

Rachel: Ah yes, ‘free time’. I don’t know if you have children, Rachel. If you do, and you still have ‘free time’- please share your secret! PLEASE!! ^_^ Seriously though, as most parents can attest, once children come into your life, for the next many years (even when they are teenagers- the challenges are still there – just way bigger and more expensive and difficult to solve!!), you suddenly are managing not only your own stuff, but theirs as well. And I am a team of one.
‘Free time’ becomes a rare commodity when you are a parent- especially for someone like me- a dreamer random abstract thinker who is not naturally good with time management skills. That’s not to say that I don’t have a moment here or there where I might take a break from work, running the household, and the events my kids are in. But lately I’ve been trying to spend that break time having lunch or singing with friends, saying hi to folks on Facebook, getting a workout in (I’ve been on a weight loss program and have lost 54 lbs to date because of it!) or writing or talking to my boyfriend in Iraq. Oh, and sleeping. I’ve been trying to make sure to get six to seven hours a night.
Basically, I’ve started adding more social elements to my life after being very isolated for a very long time. As well as doing things for my health (sleep and exercise) that I was neglecting too. So I have very little extra time. All that said, know that your idea is a very good one and very valid, and should be added into my ‘for my health’ regimen. Thank you, and best of luck on your art and writings. We Xyliacs, the creative bunch we are, will weather the slings and arrows of the critics together. (Although, if you’re like me the toughest critic is the one in my mind…)

Fantaji: thank you very much for the support, and sharing that you are another patient reader. I want you to know that I appreciate that, and I also DO NOT take that for granted. You owe me nothing, and you certainly don’t have to wait, but I am thankful that you are willing to do so.

Lloyd: Ah yes, the critic from Ratattouie. Beautiful scene, from a movie I love. This was shared on the blog the day I read the review. It’s a great sentiment, and I appreciate you reposting it.

Josh: True dat. I hope you are hanging in there. Thank you as always for all you do and have done.

Aslief: ^_^ Thank you for the sweet words. Please know that I want the story to continue too! We are all on the same team with that. And thank you for appreciating my desire to only create the best story that I possibly can and not some pale attempts at pages. This is very important to me that you all know that is a major reason for this hiatus. If I’m not fully invested in the work artistically, it will suffer. Why I am blocked from that, I can’t say, but this is the danger of producing a work on your own, and releasing it in progress. Thank you for your support.

Laura: First off, thank you for taking the time to share your comments. Reading your assessment of Xylia, you are one of the people that I say ‘gets’ it. The underlying current of a story that superficially looks like glowy fairies, but has a deeper layer of personal story. This makes you a Xyliac. ^_^ Let me say now that I’m deeply sorry for the challenge that has been put before you on your career and life path. So many good people I know- people with so much to offer the world- have faced things like what you are, in my own way, I have as well, and all you can do, as my sweetheart (paraphrasing Robert Frost) tells me: “sometimes, the only way around is through it.” Through the s**t. Otherwise you are stuck. And it sounds like you are going through. I’m glad you have support, that will help, but more, I’m glad to read that you know that it ultimately comes down to you, and your inner strength and perseverance.
You speak an inherent truth when you say: “You are only as good as you believe you are”. And this is something I do fully understand. And I’m trying to feel that way about myself. And yes, it is hard because every wire in my head is programmed by a lifetime of believing otherwise. No external forces will change that, it all must come from within. And I do know this. Now actually believing good things about myself…there is the challenge. I’m taking it on.

Ladylaughs: Please know that I have no intention of stopping drawing of Xylia. Just right now, I’ve hit that dread place known as ‘artist’s block’. And hit it hard. I’m trying to tiptoe back onto that ice a little each day. The characters are hiding from my pencil, but I will force them back on to paper. If I have to beat the crap out of them to do it. Thank you for the dragons! ^_^

MCat: Thank YOU for being patient with my absence. I’m very overwhelmed by this outpouring of support, and I am very grateful. I hope I can find that ‘muse’ again, and soon. thank you for your kind comments.

Lea: Thank you Lea, for still ‘being here’ and all of you for your patience. I do not take that for granted. Not for one second. Thank you, and hugs and many blessings to you too!

Lydia: thank you for your long support of my projects, and the many kind things you have said over the years. Like you, I was bullied throughout my entire formative years. As a little girl, I was punched on the playground, called names, and followed home from school and beaten up. As I got older, it was exclusively insults and name calling almost every day. No one stepped forward in support- once you become a school punching bag, people don’t ant to associate with you. It’s bad for their ‘rep’. Painfully sensitive, I didn’t know how to defend myself, so the result became a person beaten down by cruelty. The insults became a tape loop in my mind of self talk.
Like you, fantasy became the place where I would escape this world, (You know, Epsilon. The dark place?. ) Princesses and baseball players, animal soldiers, race horses, ballerinas, rock stars, I told stories about things I laws interested in or loved, and lived within characters who I wished I could be or be friends with. As the years went on, I learned to manage my negative thoughts somewhat, got married and began to live a ‘normal’ life.
Then that was stunningly taken away.
But, the cruelty and struggles I had endured as a child had forged a pretty tough woman. I had these two kids, and I had to take care of them. There was no time for falling apart. I had to push through. Has it been easy? Hell, no. Would it have been nice to have my life go differently? Duh. But it is what it is. Isness.
But, I guess that’s why I’m sensitive about Xyliatales. I put something so very deeply personal out there in the world. Thinking about it now, it really took guts to do that (or plain foolhardiness) Knowing that the World is the place where the bullies lurk, just waiting to cut you down and kick you. I can put masks on and do real world – or avoid, or just exist. But Xylia? That’s the real me. The one that was hurt so much. So, it’s harder to bear the stings of those attacks, because they are such poignant reminders of the beatings of my childhood.
For those who are bullies, that is all going to sound ‘stupid’ ‘whiny’ and ‘childish’. They will say things like “waaa” or ‘get over it” But the Xyliacs? You will get it. And that is WHY I will continue putting this story out there in the world.

Heather:I had heard of this book, but have never read it. Thank you for the suggestion. I always love anything that can help me on this path of being better at my craft, and as a person. Thank you for accepting my honesty here, and sharing your comments!

Taracat; Thank you very much for your support and patience, and for your kind words about Xyliatales. I do plan on getting back to this, when the time is right. Sooner, hopefully than later!

Avidreadercina: Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment here, I really appreciate it. While I long to be a big ass tree one day, I would settle for just an average tree if it meant I could dismiss criticism with ease. But in the meantime, thank you for the kind words, and I hope to return soon with more Xyliatales!!

Paul:”Self esteem doesn’t come from other people, it comes from within…” Again, this is absolute truth. And the goal that I seek. Is this an easy struggle. Nope. But I do appreciate all of you who understand that for me, the best way to growth is truth. My life was torn apart with betrayal and lies (not mine but against me), and I made up my mind to try to be as honest and forthright as I could with the people I love. It’s a difficult path sometimes, and I don’t get it right very often, but I know that it’s the way to healing for me. Thank you, Paul for all of your great insight and understanding.

Charles: thank you for being a fan, and all of your kind comments here. I wondered if people were checking back, and I’m sorry to make all of you wait so long for any kind of comment from me. I hope to be better about this, although in June I will be away from my computer a good part of the month, so that may continue to be an issue. Thank you for your patience!

Dat of Evil Genious: thank you for your sentiment, but I do feel that I owe you all- you have been so supportive of the project for a very long time, and now showing your patience and understanding through all of my bumps in the road. You do deserve the best story I can share, and I hope to be back to where I feel that I can give something that is at least my best work to the project. Thank you for the support.

Koneko: thank you for your comment. Criticism is one of those things- meted out in a constructive way it is one of the most useful things to a creator, but dealt in a snarky, rude manner, it can send a creative person reeling, even if we try not to be sensitive. We can lie to ourselves about feeling something, but then we aren’t benefitting. This is just something that I need to work through. It’s not the reviewers fault, or really even mine, it’s just showing me something about myself that needs to change. Thank you for your support! And best of luck with your writing!

Omegon: Thank you for your kind comment, and I hope to have Xylia back again very soon.

Carrie: Thank you for being patient.

Ottoscorzato: Thank you for the kind words, really I don’t look at my blog as an act of courage, but thank you for saying that. I am simply doing what I promised myself I would do, and being honest and real about how I’m feeling. In the end it’s what’s best for me, but if others are comforted by knowing that they aren’t alone in feeling something, that is a true blessing to me.
Thank you for keeping Xylia in your bookmarks!

Sarfitb: Thank you for your sharing your words of understanding. It does all come down to me. I have to fix how I feel about it. That said, I do appreciate all of you sharing your kind and supportive words. It doesn’t make the negativity go away, but it sure does quiet it down, and help me to put it away. thanks so much!

Samianne: Yep, the Army of Xyliacs! Thank you for the kind words and patience. Xylia will return!

Iceblade: Very nice analogy, and thank you for sharing your ideas. Your words about critics are very insightful. The review was something I wouldn’t have read, but because they linked pages on their wordpress, it was popping up in my email, and I checked to see what it was. I didn’t read the entire article, but enough. Thank you for commenting!

Naleta: thank you very much- and you are very right, I have a great number of awesome people who’s opinions matter far more to me that have lent their support. Thank you!

Khezef: I’m sorry to hear about your struggles, but you know that I understand. Good luck to you as well on your journey of healing, and I hope that you are finding ways to do that. Thank you for commenting.

Ennaia: thank you for your kind comments about Xylia. Your assessment of criticism- true criticism is spot on. A critique- a real one- should be something that points out a problem in a way that it can be seen as something that can be improved upon. The writer of this critique admitted that he had no interest in providing such things, and he wrote in a snarky manner purely as entertainment. Entertainment at the expense of others. Essentially this is bullying, but he calls it ‘a review’. Whatever. Thank YOU for the kind words of support, and wiliness to wait for Xylia’s return.

Liladaybug: Thank you very much for the support and patience, Lila, and I do hope to be back with updates soon!

Vaidia: LOL! Oh yes, look at that horse! HA~ Thank you very much for the laugh! Something I may have to draw…. Thank you too for the support always!

Penni: And let me say that I too am grateful for all of you. Thank you for enjoying Xyliatales, and for the kind comments, understanding and support. Best of luck with your own work, and I hope to be updating very soon!

Mo: Thank you very much for your understanding and support, and thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. I hope to be back at Xylia soon. I really liked the different allegory that you posted. Very insightful and useful to me. Thank you so much! And thank you too for keeping Xylia saved in your bookmarks.

Nonesuch: Yes, that Ratatouille quote is excellent. Isn’t should a dreadful word? It’s a word that has tormented me – and many creative people- my entire life. I think because a lot of the essence of creativity comes from thinking outside that box of shoulds. How we should behave, look, react, and worst of all feel. One counselor I worked with would stop me if I said should. She was great. It’s hard though to purge that word from our lives because it’s so prevalent.
I once heard that emotions are a gift from God. Only we as people really have them, and if we listen to them and actually use them, they direct us to what needs to happen in our lives. The problem comes with upbringing, school and just general societal pressure, if emotions are strong, we must learn to stuff them away so we can fit in. And stuffed away, they fester and rot, and eat away at us from the inside out. And then the problems begin. Anger, OCD, depression, mania, anxiety, panic,… learning as adults to manage these things that grow over time.
All because we should feel a certain way.
Thank you for your comments!!

Baris: thank you for the kind words, but really, I was simply doing what I have always tried to do- I was honest. Honest about where I am, what I’m doing and how I’m working through it. I made the decision that for me, being honest was the only way I could get through a lot of my own challenges. That putting on the face, and playing the game of social interaction is not for me, and never will be.
You are right- the story is my thing and I need to always remember that, otherwise it will become something else, and then it may not work. Thank you for the kind words of support, and I do plan on returning to Xylia. As soon as I am able.

Jane: I loved your post! I loved your honesty! Please never lose that. You are on your way from going from a very cool and honest teen (don’t listen to what any Mexican mask wearing poophead might say to you) to being a very cool (and likely well adjusted) adult. Keep being real. I hope that you are working through your issues of self-esteem- being aware is more than half the battle, and as young as you are with that kind of awareness is a very positive thing! Thank you for the encouragement for me- and I wish the same for you, that you will go into adulthood with confidence that I didn’t have.

Joanne: And let me say that I have always felt incredibly lucky that so many people have given me so much outpouring of support. Leaving Talismen broke my heart, and probably led to my impatient leap into Xylia earlier than I should have. But thank you so much for your support over many years, and I sincerely hope to not keep you or anyone else waiting too long.

Lizalle: thank you very much for the kind comments and for reading Xylia! Welcome to the Xyliacs- a cooler bunch of readers you will never find. Again, the insult is unimportant to my reactions to insults. That is the key, and that is all my doing. I hope to update very soon, but thank you for your patience!

Jayne: thank you for your excellent insights. I love reading how others approach the problems that I have and the successes they find. You have a great outlook, and I will try to learn from what you do. Thank you for your support and patience, and I really hope to be back very soon!

Octodude…
You know that I don’t think my sharing this stuff is brave- it’s just… honesty. Being real with people – especially the people who matter, like my friends here in Xylialand- people who ‘get it’ – it simply is who I want to be and must be. And you also know it’s sometimes not always easy for people who care about me to hear al this honesty either, but is what I must do.
I think for a lot of folks, even imagining putting so many inner thoughts and struggles out there for that big wide world to see would be akin to walking around naked- maybe even worse for some people. But for me, it’s healing. I want no secrets. This is me, flaws and all. Maybe this comes from being hurt by someone else’s secret. I don’t know.
Thank you so much for your respect. That means everything to me, and I hope you know that you have it right back.
(DOES the world revolve around you? Hmmmmm…. We’ll see about that…. LOL!)
I see your semper fidelis and raise it to te amo. Ab imo pectore. <3

Rose: I'm sorry that you have also dealt with issues of self esteem. Yes, those walls do protect us, but they also imprison us as well. This is also why I strive to be honest; it's a way that works for me to tear down some of the walls I have built, even if it's just here with the XYliacs, it's somewhere.
Thank you for your kind words, Rose, and like so many others here, for being patient.

Amy: Thank you for your words of support and about Xyliatales. I'm sorry that you have been knocked down by criticism. But no, I'm not giving up - just refocusing on things. I hope to be back with Xylia very soon!

Sir Godspeed: Thank you very much for being such a loyal long time reader, and for the kind words of support!

Samantha:LOL! Love your assessment of what getting criticism is like. Very aptly put. The thing about art is that it's my life. My livelihood. This is my choice, but sometimes, I would like to just do art for art. Xylia started out that way, and somehow my perspective changed. I need to get that back. In the meantime, I'm trying to use this time to grow my freelance business, and to some extent that is working. But I'm still doing art, even if it isn't my own thing. Thank you for the support!

Erika: Thank you for your patience and support! ^_^

Aquila: Yes, I certainly have some WONDERFUL people reading this story- really supportive and kind. Best readers around, I'm telling you. Thank you for the kind words and well wishes!

lokheaira:Thank you for your words of support and understanding. This is very true- I need this break to get back to the joy that I had when creating Xylia. ONly then will it be worth sharing with any of you.

That's all for now. I hope to have another update very soon- sorry that they are sporadic, but my schedule is rather crazy at the moment. Thank you everyone. Know this: Xylia will return….!!!