Another post- I’m trying to get one up twice a week. ^_^
Today’s art image is a page from a story that just never happened, that a young friend of mine wrote- and I’m hoping we can pick up with again. Xylia and little Louise from Nigel’s Opus. I hope you like it.
——————-Barblog———————-
Urgh…
After a few days of feeling pretty dang good, my confidence took another of its nosedives and I got filled up with a lot of fear again. I hate that. I can push against it all I want, but it just seems to grab a hold with more ferocity. I can try to ignore it, but Fear will not be ignored. It will throw things at the side of my head and kick me in the stomach, until I quietly accept defeat until that bully decides to leave.
The beginning of Autumn is always a tough time of year for me, I admit that. I really didn’t think it would still be, but nothing in my life is really feeling very stable or even that hopeful right now, so the memories of that past life that I had, and how I can’t find my way back to that place that I thought was real and that I loved so much are haunting me pretty sharply. It’s times like this when I feel completely alone on a crowded planet, and that I never really have and never will fit in anywhere.
Just have to keep moving through it. One step at a time.
I continue to stumble with my fitness, too and that’s adding to my stress. I’m eating badly, but still making it into the gym so at least there’s that. But the sense of control over my physical well being is faltering. Nothing seems to be in any kind of order or stability at the moment
This too shall pass. <——— I will repeat this ad nauseam, though doubting its validity.
————–Responses to August 29, 2010————-
Lora: Wow, it’s great to see you here! Amazing how many ‘masterminds’ are posting on this site. It’s supposed to be a really rare personality type!
Tinkerwrks: You know, my introvert score was one from the most you could get. I’m completely introverted, so I understand!
Ladyfox7oaks: thank you for the kind words about Deek, sadly he has been getting sick again this week, I hope we can head it off again. Poor guy. And I’m still not really on that wagon again, still chasing after it though.
Francisco: You are right, the business trip was both lucrative and enjoyable and I need to look at it that way. So you are an extrovert! Very cool- there are a lot of introverts here in the Xyliacs, so that’s good to see.
Harena- yep, you have a personality I can definitely understand! ^_^
Octodude: Actually ‘Tinkerhell’ is what it actually says- maybe you misread it- that font was hard to read. And yes, I think you may know who that is in the background too. >:-) I don’t know about my fella thinking he is blessed- if he does, he is a bit misguided. I don’t’ see myself as any kind of blessing. Yes, I do have a very fine hat. ^_^
Christine: Yes, it’s hard to get back to eating right when you fall off the wago- good luck with the running- I try to go t3 miles on the treadmill when I run, but when I miss a couple days it takes me a day or so to get back to that. Thank you for the kind words about dark times. I kind of need that right now.
Nathaniel: Thank you for the kind words about my blog, and for saying that I’m interesting. I don’t see that, but thank you just the same! I have decided to fight the seatbelt ticket. GO ME. I fight authority authority always wins….
Nancy: Yay- another guardian! Thank you for continuing to stop by and read!
CaliDave: Things were getting better and now have hit a snag- hopefully a little one. You know- I did the collaboration thing once, and decided not to do that again. I have trust issues like you wouldn’t believe.
DormantDrake: Very cool- you are also a Rational. We have had SO many! And that is such a rare personality, I think it’s very fascinating! Thank you for writing, and the kind words for Deek. I hope he continues to get better!
Caitydid: LOL- Yes, – Libros has got two horns, but I still think of him as a unicorn anyway. He hates that. 
Good luck with your 5K training! You will have to keep us up to date on your progress!! As far as the personality, the thing to remember about ‘introversion’ on that scale is not so much how outgoing you are, but where you draw your ‘energy’ when you need to power up- if you prefer to be alone at that time, you are introverted, if you gain energy from being around others, you are an extrovert.
Julie: Ah yes, the back button- and you go back to discover that you are yet ANOTHER rare type- the Rational Mastermind. That is so cool. ^_^
Graceof bass: Yes, I was much happier and I have backslid, but I hope to get back to happy again. And a provider is very good! Thank you for sharing your results.
Strange Ian: That guy? Is that a real guy? Uh….. uh…..well as we say in the US- ‘I’m taking the fifth on that.’ >:-)
Thank you all for coming back and reading my ramblings, and sharing your thoughts and comments. It really means a lot to me.
Hugs,
B
